Today James and I went to get a Marriage Licence at the court house. We scheduled a date with the judge to get married on July 20th 2012.
Here I will address judgments I have within me towards the word "marriage". Before coming across Desteni and beginning my process I wanted a wedding that was by a beach, with a pretty white dress, flowers, spring time, and a big afterwards party where I can dance the night away! I wanted the engagement ring and the wedding ring and I was pretty much into the whole idea of getting married which I had defined as a big deal in someone's life. Another words, I had created a definition of "marriage" as a positive experience within my mind. After coming across Desteni and learning the deception behind "marriage" within our society, learning that the whole "love" deal was not in fact real, but a created emotional/energetic design...I quickly redefined the word "marriage" within my head towards the opposite side of the polarity game= marriage was a negative, fake experience where people married to each other living a lie, fake energy love and later end up cheating, or getting a divorce, marriage was a binding down to a person and losing oneself in compromises to make it work. During that time my parents ended up getting a divorce which only reinforced my negative definition of a "marriage".
Since then I have realized that I only participated in the polarity definition within an idea/word that I had attached a reaction/feeling to that existed in my mind and it is not real in either side of the polarity.
True! The "marriage" in our society is in fact not real, from the perceptive of what we have been fed from very little about "mommy and daddy" loving each other and marriage being a HUGE deal that meant that "mommy and daddy" love each other. In reality many marriages end up in divorce because people do suppress each other with compromises and suffocation that build up throughout the years. BUT marriage does not have to be this definition. Marriage is how one makes it. And in fact marriage is simply uniting two beings LEGALLY. It has nothing to do with various definitions of fake love. It has to do with handling documents and legally uniting the names of two people. Other than that "marriage" does not define how two beings work and are with each other, and how they move throughout life together.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have participated in the positive experience of "marriage" in the sense that two people are now to be forever because of spoken promises/vows that somehow symbolically bounds them together for life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an image/picture representation in my mind as to how I desire MY marriage/wedding to be based on images/pictures I have seen from others/media/magazines.
I forgive myself accepting and allowing myself to see/define marriage as an idea where two people "truly" love each other and thus proving their "love through the symbolism of marriage.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to buy the lie presented from our society on marriage without realizing that marriage has been used throughout times to abuse women by men (as they own women as a legal object and can do whatever with this "object") and as means to pass their genes down.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to buy the lie presented from our society on marriage without realizing that marriage has been abused by women towards men in order to gain financial access because in our society women have been/were denied to be independed financially, thus women would stay in a abusive marriage in order to survive the physical reality they have been given since birth.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when presented to the lies of "marriage" within our society by Desteni to have jumped towards the opposite polarity and create a negative experiences/definition towards the word "marriage".
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT realize that Desteni simply presented the reality as to how "marriage" has been accepted and allowed to exists (in the form of exposing the lies) and that it was presented from the perspective of self realization without reactions/feelings/thoughts, yet I attached a negative reaction/feeling/thoughts towards the word "marriage" within my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to based on the above statement to avoid marriage at any cost because of my negative attachment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT realize that marriage is simply a legal document that unites two people on a legal level thus how I make my agreement/relationship with my partner has got nothing to do with the status of being married (wife and husband).
I commit myself to redefining the word marriage with common sense to a word that simply means legally united without any forms of mind participation (reaction/positive-negative feelings/ideas/experiences).
I commit myself to no longer fear getting married because of a negative definition towards the word marriage.
I commit myself to getting married to my partner as a form of uniting legally together, unite our finances and use them with common sense with open discussion, no secrets, to share our finances according to our physical needs and that which we find enjoying to explore physically in this world (within the means/principle of what is best for all, is best for us).
I commit myself to work/enjoy my agreement/relationship with my partner regardless of a status "married".