Sunday, July 15, 2012

Day 13-The Beauty Vacation

What I have noticed about myself is when looking at travel magazines I will get a feeling/movement within myself when looking at the presented picture that promises "wonders" to see at the particular place that is advertised. This feeling, I have come to realize, originates within my solar plexus/stomach area and it comes from a thought within my mind from a spiritual perspective where if I was to go to this place I will experience some sort of bliss, something that apparently I cannot get while being in the current place I am. Bottom line is this feeling is connected with a subconscious thought/desire of escaping the here (where I am) and going to a place where I will apparently feel better. By looking at the image/picture my eyes see the beauty of the advertisement-clean water, soft sand, blue sunny sky, green/trees, party, people, silence, waterfalls, amazing, "spiritual"-connection to Earth, connection to myself. As if I need to be somewhere else in order to be connected to myself-because I cannot see that there is really no connection to self because I am already constantly here-I am constantly connected to self-thus looking to connect me to myself in a different place is silly-I am already HERE.

What happens if and when I actually get to travel to a place of my "fantasy"? The physical reality of the place comes out! In all my travelings I have gotten to go to it has never been a fulfillment of my "Fantasy-advertisement". One deals with the reality of the place-weather condition, bugs, commercial, nothing spiritual about it, the sand is rough, the water is cold, the sun is hot, the trees are not so green and pretty (according to an image representation), it is not so silent, the ocean is vast and waves are big, eating out in restaurants-hurting my tummy, visiting "boring" sites that are only there as a "tourist" attraction and mean nothing unless one is there to visit history itself-I suppose in which the starting point will be different. Depending on the place one is faced with the poverty of the place or being locked up in a resort that is separate and superficial from what is really going on out there. The bottom line is the image never matches the reality-in terms my starting point to visit/travel to a place is that of fulfilling the image that my mind has defined as "beauty"-the perfect vacation! The result is disappointment!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give an image/idea/advertisement life within my mind and expect it to match reality-when reality will never match the mind because the mind operates on images/pictures and not what is physically here offered by the physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look/search for a place that will bring me bliss and offer me to escape what is here not realizing that one wants to escape reality only from a mind perspective in order not to face what is going on within the reality we have designed/created for ourselves to exists as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard/ignore reality as what it has to offer (from a physical perspective) as well as what we have created (the reality from a mind perspective) because I see that we have created a reality of pain and misery for ourselves, however instead of facing ourselves and accepting responsibility to change ourselves-and in terms our reality- we want to escape to a mind reality where apparently everything is perfect.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see that it will take physical time, physical change, physical realization in order for all to see that we are capable of changing and realizing ourselves to become human beings that care for the physical reality and in terms are capable of creating a reality where we can all enjoy ourselves-thus the ego/mind that drives our physical bodies must be deleted so that we can emerge as individuals that care about the physical reality/use common sense to make decision within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that my starting point to traveling/visiting places around the world has been that of self dishonesty-since it originated in my mind and it tried projecting it out-Everything seems "perfect" in the mind.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing to realize that it is not going to match an image from my mind/advertisement-thus having such an image exists within myself is pointless-thus it must be deleted as it exists as a point I have allowed to program within myself from images and ideas I have come across.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing for my starting point to be self-corrected-as it is ridicules to be driven/moved by an image, rather I accept to be/moved/driven by self with what is here/physical reality-and when I experience myself driven by an image to STOP, breathe and bring myself back to reality.

I commit myself to be self honest with my starting point to traveling/visiting a place, realize that it is not for escaping the reality of where I am currently at-thus if I experience the need to escape reality-I stop, breathe and investigate the reason for wanting to escape reality.

I commit myself to actually enjoy the physical reality and look at how I move myself within the physical reality-thus when I visit/travel to a different place realize that the other place is essentially the same place as where I am currently and if I can enjoy the trees, sun, water where I am at currently-I will be able to enjoy the sun, trees, water, whatever that environment has to offer exactly the same as being where I am currently at. The only thing that changes is the physical environment (ocean, desert, lake, mountains), however moving myself does not.

When going on “vacation” and experiencing boredom/disappointment due to the physical environment not matching the picture in my head-I commit myself to stop and breathe and find ways to enjoy the physical environment as it is.

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