Thursday, August 2, 2012
Day 18- Deleting CharACTers: FEAR of the Broken Glass
Day 14-Deleting CharACTers: The SuperHero/Healer Personality
Day 16-Deleting CharACTers: The Eye Of The Beholder Construct
Day 17-Deleting CharACTers: The EX Grudge
Today I was moving around the kitchen and as I was moving my hand tipped the glass I was just about to use to pour water. The glass rolled over to the edge about to fall when I caught it. My heart jumped to the idea of the glass falling and breaking.
At the moment of catching it a memory came up- I was a child and my mom had placed glasses to dry on the table. I came in the kitchen and accidently pushed 1 or 2 glasses. They fell and broke. My mom's reaction was to yell at me for breaking the glasses and I experienced a fear/guilt within me that imprinted within my physical body on a frequency level- to where I would experience fear/guilt of messing up and getting yelled at from another person. I am sure she probably yelled at me because she had to clean the glass, maybe she got scared when the glass made the breaking sound- she experienced a reaction within herself that she projected onto me without realizing it.
Something simple as the reaction my mom had to me breaking the glass is just one of many examples parents project to their children-the children not knowing any better react as well and the result is a emotion/memory that gets imprinted within the muscle/body which reacts when similar occasions happen. There are many layers upon layers people experience as emotion within themselves not knowing where it originates because they were never aware at the time it took place-and it has been accepted at level where it becomes a "habit" and this habit is lives as part this person (exists as). And of course as long it is accepted the person "is" the emotions they allow themselves to be.
In this post I will look at the fear/guilt relationship between me messing up and getting yelled at. And at the same time I am addressing the fact that there is a difference when raising one's voice in emotional reaction and raising one's voice as the stable expression without emotion attachment. Also especially I am relating this message to parents that go into reactive emotions to yell at their children in general as a response.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become the emotion of fear when I mess up and get yelled at for messing up-even called names like "Stupid" and "Idiot" from the other person because I would mess up-within this going into the reaction of guilt and not being able to move myself-as in I freeze and mess up even more in my following up action of movement which seems to upset the other person even more.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to built a defense mechanism to my reaction of fear/guilt as a reaction to the other person who has just yelled at me-where I begin intentially acting "stupid" in spitefulness and subconsciously confirming my "stupidity" for the other person.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to realize that by going into the reaction of fear/guilt I simply respond to the other person reaction to me.
I commit myself to no longer react in fear and guilt when another raises their voice at me in the form of emotional reaction-I commit myself to point it out to the other person of what they are in fact doing and to assist them with redirecting/assisting me to my self correction.
I commit myself if I happen to react to the reaction of the other person-to STOP, BREATHE and proceed with the above written statement.
I commit myself when raising my voice to be a direct response with the starting point to point out something important, something of substance that needs to be addressed in the manner of getting/catching someone's attention FAST-within this I commit myself to never raise my voice, use sarcasm, and diminishing words towards another being when they mess up-rather point out where they messed up and assist/guide them to self correction.
I commit myself to never yell at a child in the response of an emotional reaction-within this I commit myself never to use sarcasm/raised voice/and diminishing words towards another being when they mess up-realizing that at the moment of messing up they already know they have messed up-so the solution is if they know-to calmly guide them to correcting themselves, and if they are not aware they had messed up to point it out in a manner of understanding and making sure they realize they messed up and need to correct themselves.
I commit myself to show others who have contact with children to whom they react in the manner of an emotional reaction that it is not the correct way to handle a situation and expose what they are doing to the child by responding in an emotional reaction.
I commit myself to show/expose to parents and people who have contact with children that children within the first 7 years take everything literally (as to how their brain develops) so it is very important to use proper language with them and for everything to be explain to the best possible level of their comprehension-as such NO lies must be allowed to enter their brain.
I delete the origin of my experiences (fear/guilt) while breaking the glasses and my mom creating/imprinting the emotion. I am no longer this emotion-thus I commit myself to respond with common sense and stability-self correction upon the times where I mess up-as well as accept responsibility for my actions of messing up.