Continuing from yesterdays blog Day 19-Feeling Dreamy I want to address and further go into investigating why writing feels like a chore and further more what is a "chore" and why do I experience having to do chores as something unpleasant.
Google defines chore as:
So why would a chore be unpleasant but at the same time necessary task to do? A chore suggests that we must do something that applies to everyday life which supports us in whatever means the chore is, yet the chore itself is experienced as unpleasant. So it must not be the "chore's" fault, it must be us and how we perceive and experience ourselves while performing a certain chore. Here are some chores I can come up with:
-cleaning the bathroom
-cleaning the floors (sweep/vacuum)
-feeding the cats, cleaning their litter
-washing the dishes
-watering the plants
-walking the dog
-fixing the bed every morning
-working on projects
-practice sports/dance/yoga/working out
And what draws the line between a task being an entertainment/fun/enjoyment vs chore? Could it be that a chore is experienced unpleasant because we allow it to be unpleasant. I mean what stops us from enjoying watering the plants, practice dance, yoga, dust and so on. There are many dimensions to how we experience a chore to be unpleasant. Here is how I can experience a chore as unpleasant.
-annoyance because others don't do the chore
-don't have the time?
-don't know how to do it
-don't want to do it
-someone else will take care of it!
-got better things to do?
-there is a movie I'd rather watch
-it has to be planned
-wanting to be somewhere else
-IT IS TIRING
The last one I wrote with big letters because it is ultimate excuse not to do a "chore"- The indication of physical movement. Have we become so engaged in our minds that we see physical movement as something to be crying about?I experience this with myself all the time. I am sitting down, I clearly have time to engage myself in any "chore" but I chose to sit and watch a movie and stimulate my mind. I tell myself "I'll do it later" and so on.
So today I am discussing the part where I experience writing as a "chore" (I will stick to the definition of a chore for the moment before I redefine it for myself).
What about writing feels like a chore to me? What is involved in writing really? Sitting down behind the computer, clicking the button to my blog and start to write. Really not that much physical movement involved. I should not be interrupted (more on that later when I discuss "multitasking"). Having a topic to discuss- Ah that is a BIG one for me. I think that before I sit down to write I must already have a topic in mind, I must already know what I will be writing. And if throughout the day I am participating in stimulating my mind without self reflection/realization of how I move myself throughout the day then I do not have anything to discuss. When in reality there is plenty to be discussed/shared/talked about/ self forgiven/changed/self corrected. Another aspect is feeling the need to finish and walk a point in writing all at ones, like I am running out of time or something (this will refer to another topic where I need to slow down and stop the obsession that everything needs to be done/completed in one day). So because of the need I feel to finish this blog and the self forgiveness/self corrective statements right now- I will stop myself and will continue writing them on tomorrow's blog. I must realize that process is taken step by step and not something I "get over" with, or rush through.
To be continued....