Monday, March 4, 2013

Day 31- The Power of Compliments and Insults

It is interesting how a person can be fed with a positive energy when they receive a compliment and fed with negative energy when they receive an insult. And what that shows me is that one's existence is depended on another's compliment/insult and determines how we behave and feel about ourselves- that sounds crazy! Then we wonder wtf is going on with society!

Compliments build positive self esteem and insults build low self esteem. And that is how we let others justify us and validate us. It is like we are constantly looking for feedback from others- and I am not saying that getting feedback is a problem (because feedback indicates/shows us our reflection), but it is the attached energy that comes with a/an compliment/insult through the power of sound/words.

The key word here is how one FEELS and is VALIDATED after they have heard the words of another about them. Not only is it that compliments/insults are feeling/emotion based but they also seem to go hand in hand with what society determines as a norm/acceptance about fellow humans- which would be the base point of what will define whether what is said will be a compliment or an insult. And if we look at history- norms/acceptance is something that changes with the shift of society and what the "new trend" is, what is "hot" and what is "not". And what defines it is the mind because it generates energy to feed off of. Yeah- all of us have experienced that energy of feeling good as our ego is fed, and feeling bad as our ego is shattered- all in the name of someone's words which are based on a perception that exists within the other person's mind. And if my mind perceptions aligns with yours- it is a compliment. It my mind perception does not align with yours- it is an insult.

The very fact that this is something that changes based on the mind= makes it a perception of the mind that people collectively participate in to make it a norm and acceptance. In reality it has got nothing to do with the physical existence which would imply that a norm would be something that is established in common sense to support life in the physical. We are far away from what should be normal in this world.

It is a very general point so let's take a look at an example:
In the 50's women were expected to look more on the fatty body side so they had ads for pills that make you gain weight. So in that time if they called a woman who was skinny-SKINNY with this attitude and negative energy it would be taken as an insult.

However, today we see a trend of get skinny pills, because what has become the norm is skinny women BUT with butt and breast so if someone would call a woman skinny today- it would be taken as a compliment.

What we don't seem to realize is the reality that the body comes in different shapes and sizes and can be healthy or unhealthy- and that is meant in a physical way as in "is the body supported within the physical reality or not"- not how it looks/appears to the mind of a person.
Read more on the article:

Depending on if you had received a compliment or an insult by another you will feel good or bad about yourself, you will take those words to heart, go home and subconsciously accept them as they imprint in your head and now everywhere you look around you will begin comparing and judging others as less or more than you. That is how judgment towards others forms- from the mind out in the physical creating ultimate self abuse and abuse towards others. And one will have accepted to be validated by another.

There is a difference between giving a feedback and complimenting/ insulting someone.  It is in the formation of the words, in the starting point of your words and whether there is an energetic point attached or not.

There is also a difference in how one takes a feedback in compliment/insult. And yes- it is in the starting point of how it is accepted and if there is energy point that one has attached to it or not.

So, if someone tells me they like my dress (that would be a compliment). So it is my responsibility to make sure that I do not attach any energetic points to it (feelings/emotions). And it is the other person's responsibility to make sure that when they are saying those words they know why and what they mean by it by making sure that there is no energetic point attached to it.
So the "I like your dress" can be a very simple feedback that the person who sais those words is giving a feedback to me that they like something about the dress I am wearing- material, design and it fits according to my body shape.

On the other hand if someone tells me I don't like your dress (one may take it as an insult). It is my responsibility to make sure that I do not attach the negative energy, and it is their responsibility to make sure that when they speak those words they know why and what they mean to say without the energetic attachement. So the "I don't like your dress" it is a simple feedback to me that there is something about the dress that this person does not like- material, design, color, how it fits according to my body shape.

And this is not in any judgmental way- because there is no energy attached to it. I don't walk away feeling bad or good about my dress. I don't feel validated by the other person, I don't feel like I have to take the dress off and change it. I don't feel like I have to buy all the dresses that look like this one- because it was liked.

Realize that when you make a compliment or an insult (with the energy attachment) it is not about the other person. It is always about you and what you project out of your mind towards the other person.

I often find myself complimenting clothes that I would enjoy wearing. But then I ask myself what is the reason I would enjoy wearing this type of clothing. And the answer laid deeper then just the appearance. It laid in what I have built myself to like based on an image. For example, I would always feel the need to compliment yoga clothing or anything that has to do with this design of yoga clothing- because I have built a special attachement and image to the word yoga (this good feeling).
This can also go for sexy clothing- as my mind will match an image of what society considers sexy. So in my mind I see the picture and then when I see the clothing- the mind picture is generated and now I define this clothing as sexy and I project this image towards myself and others. And that is how judgement towards clothing is established. Very Fucked up.
Remove that energetic point and you have clothes that you enjoy wearing and clothes you don't enjoy wearing...think about the material of the clothing, the physical feel of the clothing, wear all colors, explore all designs, match colors, enjoy how the clothing fits the body, anything that has a physical alignment to why you would enjoy the clothing. STOP judging clothes.

So the clothes point was just one of many- but the concept remains the same about anything you can think of.

One important thing I have learned through Desteni  is that one needs to align with the physcal existence- thus one needs to be practical in their words and choices, one needs to have a look a the whole picture, one needs to be able to recognize when they are experiencing an energetic participation of feelings and emotions and when they are stable, one needs to know that it is about the starting point when doing something...the why behind the action- and in terms make sure that the WHY/starting point behind the action is always clear of the energetic reaction, habit, image, picture, idea, society anything that could have shaped one to NOT be aligned with the physical existence (that is the planet, humans, animals.... etc). And that is how we build a world that is best for all. Stick with the physical existence as a starting point because that is life, that is stable, that is constant, that is REAL.

I'd suggest joining Desteni and starting your process of breaking down the mind character you play in the world that is not aligned with the physical and what is best for all.
Check out DIP Lite (free course that gets you started on knowing what you have accepted and allowed yourself to exists as and how to start aligning yourself with the physical and stepping out of mind definitions).

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