Saturday, January 11, 2014

Day 55- Exposing My Procrastination

Today I am discussing procrastination vs. my idea that I am directing myself to do something later.
What does that mean?

"Procrastination: to be slow or late about doing something that should be done: to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it."

Do decide with self direction that I will do something later means that I am aware/realize that the task needs to be done and I have assessed my physical environment deciding that this task will have to be completed at a later time based on physical aspects.

Procrastination implies that my decision to do something later had nothing in fact to do with my physical environment but rather with my mind in the form of non-motivation, creating excuses as to why the task should not be done right now but put off for a later time.

Having said this lest look at some excuses that I use to procrastinate and reasons to why I feel that a certain task should be procrastinated and then to make myself feel better I backchat myself into thinking that I took/made a self directed decision rather than have procrastinated.

-I am tired right now, my eyes are closing.
-I can do this later, now it is not a comfortable time.
-I am not ready to do this right now.
-This will take time which at the moment I do not have.
-I can do it tomorrow when I feel better and I am not tired.
-My brain is not working right now so I'd rather watch something to relax.
-I don't feel like doing this right now.
-There is something else I have to do before I can do this task.
-This task is not on my list for today.
-I forgot to do it.
-I did not write it down on my list of things.
-It will take too long.
-I've done part of the task, now I can relax and finish the rest later.
-It's bed time.
-I don't want to do this alone.
-The timing is off.

Ok, so ultimately those backchat excuses are done because the task is something I do not want to do, and that can have different reasons as to why I am not willing to do it.
Some examples:

-I do not know how to do this.
-I am going to need help and involving others can take too long.
-The task itself is time consuming.
-The task is boring.
-It worked fine in my mind, but now in reality it is harder.
-Time, Time, Time

It seems like at the core of it all it has to do with time, creating time for something that I am not willing to do, thus I will push it away as much as I can before I am squeezed to a point to where I HAVE TO DO IT and I don't have the option to not do it- creating my procrastination.
And interestingly enough once I actually start doing it because I have been cornered by reality/space and time- it really does not take that long....
Thus the TIME point has been an illusion, an excuse my mind created for not doing something that it did not want to do.

I really have to start investigating why my mind is not willing to do certain tasks because time is not the issue (unless I have procrastinated until the last minute- then time is really in fact a problem that manifested not because I did not have it but because I waiting until the end).

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