So I went to CPK the other day for dinner and I was not feeling well- since I am sick (regular cold symptoms) and I noticed a few people on their cellphones- couples sitting together for dinner but instead of talking to each other they were on their phones and that brought a memory of my partner and I doing the same thing when we go out to eat and we are waiting and then I realized that I actually do that ALOT when I am out by myself or with others I have my phone in my hand looking at Facebook or articles, blogs and so on but what I NOT actually doing is interacting with that is here in my physical environment because the moment I put the phone down it's like I am confused on what to do because I don't have a task to be doing but to just sit there, so I instantly pick up my phone again and here I am exploring the net again. And non of this is self directed because it is driven by "I have nothing else to do now, so I need to keep myself busy", entertaining my mind with something funny I see, or interesting I read.
Tonight I finished watching a show and closed my computer, looked around the room, I was laying in bed and then ended up picking up my lap top again and visiting Facebook, scrolling down the newsfeed browsing over people's post to see if something funny, interesting catches my eye to open it. It's become like an addiction and a way to avoid doing things I should be taking care of.
Since this is an impulse and not self directed, meaning I kind of just do it without even considering my environment at the moment only to keep my mind busy- I am missing on simply being here, because if it was self directed I would with awareness make a decision to look at my phone, look at the computer deciding this is what I am going to now and this is what I will be doing in a productive way with a reason (for example, I am right now going to read a blog). Instead what happens is I end up getting side tracked because I look to entertain my mind.
More to expand on next blog...