Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Day 66- Fear of Drowning

So I was listening to the EQAFE interviews (I listen to one or two every morning on my way to work) called Death Research Drowning Part 1 and Part 2- I highly recommend hearing it out as it gives a perspective of what happens when we die. And they are also FREE.

So I found this interview supporting and interesting because at some point of my early childhood I developed this subconscious fear of what if I died drowning. I cannot recall the time and why this became a point of fear exactly- however I have had many dreams where I would almost die of drowning. And I guess it is not a physical fear I have because I am not afraid of swimming- however I am aware that I am not able to hold my breath for a long time. I have tried holding it under water and not under water, and then when it reaches the point to where I need to take in breath I experience OBVIOUSLY this urge to take in breath...but I know that if I was under water that I will not be able to take in that breath and thus I will die. And my fear is the process I will experience while drowning- so it has become a subconscious fear.

So today I listened to the interview where the being was describing their experience of their physical body shutting down as well as their mind shutting down and what was left was their awareness and the single one memory that defined their whole life which at the end ended up disintegrating as their mind shut down and died. Two points arose within me:

ONE- listening to the process of dying wanted me to just take in deep breathes. As I came out of my car and walked to work- I was just so glad that I am able to take in that breath of air. It was strange how content I was taking in those breaths and being completely aware of them in that particular moment.

Then I went off to work- so I was occupied with work related stuff- but when I was driving back home from work I able to reflect more on the interview. The being was talking about how sad it was that out of her whole life in the physical- all she was able to take and be defined by was this one memory that she wanted to hold on to and it was not even of herself- it was of some random happy couple she saw down the street one day- and she goes on to explain why she had that particular memory, but basically that is all she had to show for herself in the duration of her life in the physical and the realization that she never actually lived and cared or was aware for/of her physical body. And that if she could go back she will do it differently because she realized she had taken her physical existence for granted and that is something we all are doing because we don't have the ability to see beyond with the eyes of the mind (which is integrated/infused with our physical eyes). I mean if we were able to see what is here physically from an interdimensional perspective we would see/realize and understand the damage we are doing to the physical bodies and physical existence in the name of the MIND.

So TWO, I asked myself what kind of mind activity/memory preoccupies me to the depths of myself that is not allowing me to actually live but is holding me back? What kind of activity/memory do I allow to keep me locked? And for that I need to dig deeper within myself because it will not be something obvious- since that would be on a deeper level- maybe even on a unconscious level.

Aside from that I will have to look at the fear of drowning/suffocation.

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