Saturday, March 8, 2014

Day68- Update On Cats

For reference read Day 51- Letting Go of My Cats and Day 52- Cat's Self Forgiveness.

I have been looking for a new home for my two cats for about 4 months now and no one was responding. The shelter that got recommended to me was full was I was not able to give them there.
A couple of days ago posted an add on craigslist after overcoming my hidden fear/perception that craigslist was an evil place because of stories and just the basic set up around craigslist. It felt insecure to me. The point I had to see was that craigslist is a resource and I simply need to be wary of whomever I am communicating with just as any other place would be. So I took a deep breath and posted the add for the two cats and I was not expecting anyone to contact me.

Yesterday I was relaxing with my son- I was taking a short nap when I received a phone call from a person in the area that was interested in Simba.
Everything happened so fast- first I was excited that someone finally contacted me, then I was nervous because I did not know who this person is.
He came over and we spoke briefly about the cat. I explained to him all the information he needs to know. I asked him a few questions regarding the living conditions, why he was looking for a cat and so on. He agreed to take Simba. I quickly gave him some cans of food and dry food to start off with. My husband parted with Simba and I brought him in the carrier (I let the guy borrow it because he did not have one with him). I placed him in the car. At that point Simba was freaking out cause he was in the carrier outside and did not know what was happening. I placed the carrier in the car and gave him a kiss and said "It's Ok Simba, I will see you.....(and then it hit me) NEVER". As as soon as the word "never" came out I began to tear up. The guy said he will take good care of him. I said bye to the guy- he asked if I wanted the carrier back tonight. I told him yes, he just needs to ring the door bell. I ran inside and began to cry. My husband gave me a hug. I was Ok the rest of the night until I went to bed and started to think about Simba.

So here I was experiencing some sadness based on memories I've had with Simba- times came up where he would lay on me and purr, or I would play with him with the laser, or how he would jump on my leg and so I had to take in deep breaths and really let him go this time, let go of the emotional charge these memories were holding and simply be grateful that I had him in my life for the time he was in my life. Also to trust that he will be Ok with his new caregivers and that he will create the same joy as he did with me.

And finally there was also a relieve within me as I was previously stressing out about having to find him a home and not being able to be with him as much as I should be because of the room separation requirement.

Well, now still looking homes for Abby.

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