Friday, November 28, 2014

Day 84- Correcting My Parent Behavior (Part 4)

Continuing from Day 83- Correcting My Parent Behavior (Part 3) 

Today I am finishing the last part of this series.
Continuing from the list of things from the last blog.

Leaving the park or any place that he does not want to leave at that particular moment/not wanting to go to school, fighting me to place him in the car seat:

What I have noticed is that he is wanting to be more independent in the things he does or the things I used to do for him- and if I don't let him try he gets frustrated. So in the situation with the car seat- he has been wanting to put his own belt. Since I saw this I have been guiding him through with it because he really can't click in the belt yet but his determination to try and do is is persistent. For the park, the school, and leaving places he does not want to at the moment- I have been talking to him more about why we are leaving and remaining stable if he does throw a tantrum by talking to him as well as telling him what we are doing next. I realize that my reactions towards these points about Victor have been results from my starting point that I have been walking SF on. And him acting out on these points are also results based on my reaction/approach towards him.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT consider his method of communication with me- that he would be acting out on the first place because he does not have the vocabulary to express what he wants (that is for his younger year) and that I reacted to him acting out from the start because I was not understanding what he needed and I was frustrated and not able to read him/ his needs at the time- thinking that I was discipling him when in fact I did not realize that we were reacting to each other because I was not seeing his way of communicating with me and he was not understanding my words. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this to become a pattern that we played out even when he was starting to communicate with words because by then I had gotten it into my mind that I will be in control of his behavior and will not allow him to get his way, not considering his stages of child development because I was in the moments of reaction towards his tantrums.

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