Continuing from previous blog Day 89-The Second Child Decision (Intro) Part 1
1. Experiencing the pain, uncomfortability of the physical process of pregnancy, labor, birth.
When I was pregnant with my son I experienced morning sickness, I could not stand the pain of labor, I did not enjoy the process of breast feeding (breast enlargement), pain, the choice of breast feeding or not, pumping, and possible body changes (even though with my son I got no stretch marks). So I imprinted this experience within me as a bad one and began to use it as a reason to never have another child again.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use the experience of my physical body during and after pregnancy as a justification to the decision to not have a second baby.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view pregnancy as a negative experience as I link pain and discomfort to it without realizing how much my body does to change and adjust to go through pregnancy and it does so unconditionally to make way, prepare to support the birth of another being to ensure that the being will/is physically supported. Instead I complain about this process because it is painful, thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that pregnancy is hard work on my body because the physical takes time and change, hard work to create life- it's not magical in the sense that shit just happens but it needs to develop over time and it is always about a physical process. And even in pain one should consider the actual process the body invests over time to create life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my mind to take over the physical process of pregnancy, labor and attaching a negative polarity and dismissing all the hard work my body did. Instead I need to see this process as for the investment and dedication as my physical body goes through the changes and within that have an appreciation and respect for my physical body and that it is actually amazing how it functions in oness and equality to support life and birth in the physical reality.
Thus, I stop my judgments, justification and I release the imprint of pain I've been holding on to regarding the physical pain experienced during labor, birth, pregnancy as I embrace it as part of the physical work in supporting another life.
I've already been through it once and if I take a decision to have another baby, I commit myself to welcoming the changes my body will go through and embracing the pain that my physical body will go through in order to support the birth of another human being.