Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Day 106- Target Language Test

I recently took a target language test in Bulgarian for my Bilingual Endorsement. I was satisfied with my written part of the test but when it came to oral one, I froze. It went something like this:

I went there early in the morning. They sat us down, read instructions, we signed in and began the test. Some were taking Spanish, some Polish and so on.
I only had written answers I had to read a passage and then answer 6 questions in short writing
they were to test my reading skills, comprehension skills. I was able to answer those in both languages. There were 2 passages so that was a total of 12 short answer question. I did not realize it because I was not looking at the clock but I really took my time
I reread, erased, rewrote until I was satisfied with my answers.
Then it was the written in Bulgarian part. They asked me a question of opinion and presented a two sided argument. I had to write about what I thought, and why I support it. I wrote 3 paragraphs with which I think I did good. They were testing grammar, understanding, they did not care which side of the argument was picked or why as long as it made sense within the guidelines.
Then it was the oral test. They gave me a question to which I had 2 min to think about, and then 2 mins to answer in Bulgarian. I was not satisfied with my answer and once I thought about it (after I was done), I did not think that their method of approach towards this test was effective
particularly the 2 minute part for thinking about the question. They asked me a question to which I had a hard time thinking to what to answer. I had to recall a time where I experienced a challenge in school and pretend I was discussing it with my friends, and then take about how I figured it out or could have done it better.
So I sat there for two minutes trying to recall a time which was difficult for me because I was not coming up with anything and the two minutes were ticking, and I was so aware of the anticipation that there were only two minutes that my heart was about to jump out of my chest. Then when the guy on the tape (i had to record my answer) said that my two minutes are done, I experienced my heart sinking down cause I had to start talking and I had nothing to say. For the first 10 seconds or so I was silent. And then there was a person in front of me supervising me (she did not speak the language), she looked at me and gave me a hand gesture that I had to start speaking. So I began talking something brokenly while my mind was trying to think in what direction I was going to talk
about the question, and then I started formulating the problem (took deep breaths but they were not helping at that moment as my mind was thinking about the time I had left). I also stumbled on a few words I wanted to say but had never said them in Bulgarian before (like student teaching, classroom management), so I had to think of a different way to express them. I am not sure that I expressed them correctly. I was about to say what I did for solution, and the tape cut me off because my time was done. And that was it, I walked out of there and I was upset because I sat there for 4.5 hours writing and really taking concentration to write my responses, and then 2 minutes can fail my whole test. Those two minutes count for 25 % of the score and passing score is 80. I will know in a bout a month if I passed or not.
I thought about it for the whole day and experienced emotions like anger, shame, regret, blame.

After discussing the incident with my DIP buddy I looked at how I can bring this back to myself and investigated how this event can be helpful to me (regardless of the results) in relation to my reactions/emotions I experienced within my mind. And then I looked at how this event has assisted me in my process.

To be continued!

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