Thursday, July 30, 2015

Day 115- Living "Control"


This is part of the series “Living Words"

When it comes to “control” I think that I often express this word with the reaction of anger and frustration. I have noticed that when I want to be in control/ to have power over someone or something it is because I feel I am not stable within myself and that I actually cannot direct the situation. It is the lack of self direction that creates the need for me to have control/power- almost like this force coming from within me to create the illusion that I am in control/in power and I am able to handle it. However within that moment I realize that “I don't got it” and I am only responding in a reaction towards the very thing I don't have control of so that I feel empowered.
So within redefining the word control- as a living word- I realize that “control” is not about having power or making myself feel empowered- it is about stability, it is about directing self and not something outside of myself.

Some ways to sound out control”
-kontrolno (means test in Bulgarian) as testing one's character/knowledge.
-con (as in something against) trol (as a person who is trolling around and not making solutions)



Redefinition: Control: being stable within myself and from that starting point having a self direction within how I am going to respond to something/someone/ a situation.

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