Today I came across a blog from a fellow Destonian that was talking about his porn addiction and how it affected his relationship to himself and women, his realizations and how is able to stop the porn addiction (My Experience with Porn and Prostitution Day 4). I was intrigued by his writings because up until now I had no particular view on porn per say. I kind of just brushed it off to "ah that's something mainly men get engaged in", I had no concrete stance on porn being bad or good. However today I realize that porn is in fact part of the abuse happening in the world. And it is not about being good or bad but about how it affects people even from the most innocent person watching porn in their house to the most extreme person who abuses others in the world. Thus by this def if porn causes even ONE abuse in the world- then it is obviously not something effective and beneficial to society to have in existence as to what is best for all principle. The same can be said about alcohol, drugs and other abusive entities that seems harmless just because it did not happen to YOU or you seemingly are in control of the "situation".
I myself had participated in watching porn when I was younger and it came from a point of curiosity- then I never continued because it was not something that took particular interest in my life. Later in my life when finding people online through going in a chat and chatting (you know, those AIM chats that had different titles of interests), just to chat, meet others- I found this guy that I kept contact with, it was not serious, more like someone I just chatted with when he popped up on my buddy list. He would always contact me first. And what was strange to me is that he kept pushing the point of "sexual" communication with me like "what I was wearing, where was I in the room"- things I perceived as innocent and non important. He kept talking to me about how horny he was all the time and he just could not control himself from masturbating, watching porn, had to see it visually, in writing, on the phone....it was sex, sex, sex and how hard his dick was. I thought he was coming from a point of "joking around", being playful and what not- then I started to get tired of the same non substantial conversation and ended up deleting him off my buddy list.
Today I read the above blog and realized that the guy was talking to had a serious sex/masturbating addiction to the energy that he got off on every time he jerked off to anything sex related and could not wait to feel that next energetical "explosion" again and again- so he kept looking for it all ways and forms.
Holy- Shit he needed help. If he is still out there somewhere in the world- please GET HELP! Check out Desteni and walk yourself out of the addiction!
Today I realize that porn is in fact abusive just like alcohol and any other drug or any means that create an energetical reaction within your mind/physical body that escapes the reality and is directly or indirectly related to the abuse of this world as a whole. Also thanks to Anna's video on Porn where she touches the points on the interconnectedness of porn and child abuse in the world. I recommend hearing her video.
So I went out for a drive to get some stuff done and I though to myself....how will I go about explaining to Victor about porn. He is still a toddler, but the exposure of abuse is out there all around us- how do I protect him from it? (is what I asked myself) and the answer that came up was:
I guess the only way to "protect" your children from the abuse in this world is to teach them the point of understanding of what abuse is, why it exists and how not to participate in it- if you try to ignore, shelter and hide the abuse from them they will inevitably be drawn to that which they don't know and end up participating in it anyway. Don't say something is bad- explain what "bad" is from the perspective of how it affects the physical as a whole so that they can see why it is bad-abusive-ineffective to the whole existence. So then it becomes part of their understanding to why they should not participate in abuse and not something you just told them not to do.
This point to consider is really important because it goes along with "you cannot change anyone, it is their responsibility to change themselves". The only way change can be done is when the individual is WILLING to change and then they receive the assistance needed along. That is why Rehab does not work or is not effective enough and people revert back to their damaging/addicting habits. The only way one can change is by realizing that they need to change and are willing to take on their own demons and work directly with the source of the "evil"- their own MIND/Ego of what they had accepted and allowed to become. That is why people who come to Desteni, and had have addictions to various things were able to stop the addictions in the amount of time that can never beat any Rehab or psychiatrist out there. And the tools to self help are so simple that all that is required is your will to stop your addiction and your dedication to face yourself/demons.
So then the question is how do we protect our children from having to come to a point of entering addictions/supporting world abuse by preventing it from the very start? Because later they will have walk themselves out of it- Now that would be a waste of time when it could have been prevented.
So how do we prevent it?
To be continued....
PS. For those willing to walk masturbation/sex with Desteni and see how one can do it from a point of exploring the physical and not the mind/picture/idea/energy/addiction check out these interview series:
Shocking Secrets of Masturbation (these are pretty much all FREE)
What is Sex? (Also many of those are offered FREE)