Saturday, December 31, 2016

Day 181- Self Forgiveness on Blaming My Environment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place blame on my my environment.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see that what I am experiencing is a reflection of myself and what I allow to exists and be in relation to myself/my process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing for my mind to position me in the state of loneliness and feeling like I don't have anyone of support when I myself refuse to support myself in moments of needing self support.

I forgive myself for blaming my environment by not seeing how my environment can be supporting me in my process because I have a special believe of how my environment should be and expect it to magically be the way I would like it to be and think it would be supportive, BUT ignoring the fact that what I envision is something that I have to build/create and nurture through self motivation, through searching and investigating ways to create what I envision for myself.

I commit myself to push through the my experience of being stuck.

I commit myself to see what in my live is supportive and a “blessing in disguise”.

I commit myself to stop blaming my environment and to rather see how I can create/build what I envision for myself with step by step goals.

Day 180- Redefining the word "Value" into a Living Word.

Read previous post "Value is Subjective" for reference.

This is part of the series “Living Words"

Sounding out Value:


Redefining the word value: I place value in that which is supportive

To be continued...

Day 179- Value is Subjective

In a recent conversation the word "value" came up and it was discussed within the perspective of how much money people spend for things and how much someone is willing to pay for something. So then I realized that value is subjective because people would give money towards that which they value, and say that something can be too expensive towards something they do not give much value to. So how do we decide what we give value to? That question can go in many directions but from the mind's perspective I would say it is something we program ourselves through time.  And then from another perspective we have to look at the value given to a "product" vs quality of the "product".

This is something I have noticed about my "value" programming- Let's say I go to Victoria Secret. I already know what their prices for clothes range for. So if there is a "sale" for pants that are $24 and the "original" price was $54, I would most likely be OK with buying the pants for that price. But if I go to Discovery, the price I would expect for the similar pants would be lower just because the general prices at that store are cheaper, thus I would not buy the pants for $24. Then looking at what is considered quality- I would expect the Victoria Secret store to have better quality of the clothes it sells, so my value here would be based on "better quality".

Thus value is subjective to that which we assign it to but it is also based on our programming which can be so many different circumstances and experiences within a capitalistic society.

How would you redefine the word "value" and what you give it to?

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Day 178- When a Moment of Opportunity Comes Along.....

The following is a recent example of self will, self determination/motivation self directed decision that was made in a moment of opportunity. I am sharing this because it was quite cool to see it unfold and how my physical body in that moment was lively so to speak to move and embrace the moment.

We had scheduled a playdate for our son with friends we have not seen in some time. My son enjoys playing with their son and we really should see each other more often for play dates and family time.
It was Sunday morning and it has snowed the night before which meant we had to shovel the drive way to get out. As I woke up that morning I contemplated if we should even get up, because of the snow. Thought about rescheduling and being lazy came up. And I had almost decided that I was not going to wake up my husband and that we will be rescheduling the play date. But then in the next moment, I recalled how excited my son was about this play date and how I would be letting him down for a lame "have to shovel the snow" excuse. Within working with the Desteni process and tools I have learned to be aware of moments when making excuses that are not self honest/ I knew within me that this was a lame, unjustified excuse. So I decided that I will not let this stop me and within this one moment I was determined that I will make this play date happen. I got up, got dressed for the weather and went to test to see if I will be able to shovel the snow (being pregnant and stuff). The snow was light and it was easy to move from one side to the other. So even thought it was super duper cold outside- my body was full of warmth moving around. I of course listened to my body- not to push myself hard. The driveway was done and I was proud of myself. I woke up my husband (who was on the same wave as I was when I woke up...not really up for going to the playdate). I told him I am making breakfast and we both got ready. My son was at my mother-in law so they dropped him off and we were on our way to have some family fun time.

So within this example, I see how all the pieces came together as a moment of opportunity came and I took it and because it was a self directed decision the experience of the moment unfolding was awesome. I was totally in that moment moving myself with every breath.

I am using this moment as an example for myself for other moment of opportunities where I have a choice- let my mind lead me or step up and let myself lead me.