Friday, March 31, 2017

Day 191-Speaking Up For Myself!

Speaking up for myself- I often catch myself in situations where I second guess myself if I should say anything regarding the situation or not. And a lot of the time I choose to be quiet so that I don't cause an argument/ conflict. This has been a big point for me because instead of addressing the point in a calm/gentle manner of explanation I always fall for my thoughts of “oh, it's not that big of a deal, so I should not say may upset the other person, and I don't want to be caught in the middle of being attacked by the other person”. So within this I have realized that
1- I make the other person think that what they have said or done is OK with me. 2- I suppress what I am really feeling regarding the situation thus internalize it. 3- I create a back chat towards the person through internalizing it. 4- I accept to silence myself for the sake of not liking to be “attacked” in what I do have to say. 5- I am accepting the other person's response/reaction to be that of an attack towards me when I should understand that they may react to me and rather work on myself to not take it personally and simply address the fact of the matter. 6- I really need to start practicing voicing myself without reacting.

Self Forgiveness to be continued...

Day 190-Preparing For Birth

With the second baby delivery being right around the corner I have been surprisingly calm. This may be because I sort of already know what to expect as well as because I walked Self Forgiveness on the point of fear of giving birth because of the experience I had giving birth to my first one. This time around I have prepared all the essential points to expecting a baby and I am actually proud of myself. Also I have been walking this pregnancy in a more self directed manner and because of that I can see that it is a point of self empowerment for my process. And I intend to continue walking this way when the baby is born- by using my past mistakes and walk them into correction when it comes to tips in taking care of a baby and walking the process of a “new” mother all over again.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Day 189- It's a Boy- Acceptance

Continuing this blog- Day 176- It's a Boy!

Within this blog I am addressing my acceptance that I will be raising two boys even (as in my picture perfect reality since I was a child I had pictured myself with one boy and one girl).
The point of acceptance was addressed within me some time ago. I think the initial reaction that my second child is also a boy crushed my "childhood image" and that is something I had to look into and work my way and at this point as my little boy is about to arrive soon- I don't think I would have it any other way. It is, what it is- thus I am bringing my focus towards raising two boys and making sure they learn self-responsibility, self-respect, self- honesty and the tools to making effective decisions as well as being supportive of each other and others. It is not to say that I would teach a girl differently, however in our world/system today girls are overlooked (hence the reason for a lot of feminist movements) thus as a mother of two boys it will be my job to teach them equality when it comes to viewing and treating girls/women, and actually- treating everyone and everything in the same respectful manner.

Day 188- I am Grateful for Financial Stability in My life

The time for my second little one is almost here, and I am glad that I am able to take off work for the time that I need without having to worry about meeting ends or feeling pressured to go back to work as soon as possible. I realize that the position I am in is supportive thanks to my husband even if I don't show it or talk about it much. I realize that within our current system there are many mothers or mothers to be out there that may not have the needed financial support to be able to take off work and focus on the baby/their children for as much as they would like to or need to.
I realize that this is an opportunity for me to review my direction as to what I want to focus on regarding work and at the same time relax and adjust to the beginning stages of motherhood again. Thus I commit myself to exploring options for work as well as using this time to meet with other parents/mothers and make new connections.